Going to a collector car auction is a lot like visiting an online dating site. You get to check out the prospects — and you have one quick chance to decide if you want to get involved. If you’re interested, you present your best offer and hope the competition doesn’t make a better one. It’s an unpredictable game of dashed hopes and dreams come true. And, sometimes, there’s buyer’s remorse the next morning.
With that in mind, here are six recent sales presented as if the car itself wrote its auction profile to entice you to ask for that first date.
1962 Citroën 2CV Sahara 4×4
Lot 108, The Finest
Low maintenance, outdoorsy type with a French background seeks tolerant partner with an appreciation for the simple things in life. My last relationship lasted 14 years, so you must be willing to move slowly and take my needs into account. I have some special secrets under my bonnet! Turn-ons include long drives on the beach, climbing hills, and the occasional trip to North Africa. I may not be the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen, but treat me right and I’ll be your lifelong companion.
Sold at $85,800. Because two engines are sometimes better than one
1968 Subaru 360
Lot 121, The Finest
Petite beauty from the Far East would like to meet a partner with a taste for the unusual. I’ve been in the United States for a long time now, working at an auto dealership. I admit I’ve had some work done, but I’m in great shape and ready for action. You may have met some of my younger and sexier cousins, but don’t judge me by their appeal — I’m unique, classic, and have my own style.
Rating: Very hot!
Sold at $13,750. Extremely affordable and desirable
1965 Amphicar 770 convertible
Lot 102, Bonhams Greenwich
Who’s up for a day at the lake? Dive right in with me! I’m not afraid of the water at all. In fact, I once swam the English Channel! I’m fully certified by the Coast Guard and the DOT, so I’m ready for anything. My last relationship was really good for me. I’ve got everything I need, and now I’m looking for a new partner who will keep me in great shape. Give me a chance and I’ll never sink your dreams.
Sold at $68,200. A classic sure to get attention anywhere you go
1959 Fiat 600 Multipla
Lot 11, Bonhams Greenwich
Passionate red-headed Italian seeks partner who understands that a slower pace offers more time together. Although I was born in Italy, I lived my whole life on the East Coast of America. I’ve spent the past 20 years living in Maine, so you might be worried that I’m rusty, but in fact, I’m in perfect shape. I’m family oriented and ready to take you and your bambini anywhere you want to go. Are you ready for a little sweet gelato?
Sold at $30,800. A bit of La Dolce Vita at a reasonable price
1974 Volkswagen Beetle
Lot 136, Silverstone Aarhus
Girl Next Door seeks first real relationship. I’m 42 and have barely been around the block. From the time I was born, I was stuck with an old man who didn’t love me and only ever dragged me to church on Sundays. I’ve spent my life stuck at home, and now I want to get out and see the world. Are you willing to take me places, show me new things, and put some miles under our feet?
Sold at $42,717. Too much for an old maid who was never that attractive to begin with
1970 Fiat 850 Spiaggetta
Lot 221, RM Sotheby’s Monaco
Who wants spaghetti? Feisty Italian loves fun in the sun — at the beach or just running around town. I have an excellent pedigree; my father was Giovanni Michelotti. I have been known to hobnob with royalty and famous people like Jackie Onassis. I don’t want to tease too much, but although I do have a bikini, I go around topless most of the time, and I have a cute little motor in the back, if you know what I mean… You won’t find another like me in this lifetime, so you better move fast if you want to be mine.
Sold at $69,608. Social climber and gold digger, sure to break your heart